Friday, January 18, 2008
I'm not sure what my problem is. I just have a lot going on right now. And, admittedly, I turned to food.
Yesterday's menu consisted of no breakfast, Burger King Whopper combo for lunch, snack at McD's including hot fudge sundae, fries, and a real coke, and pizza for supper. I also had christmas filled hard candies.
Today....after my meeting with my oldest ds's teacher, McD's sausage biscuit breakfast combo, real coke, Snicker's candy bar from the Family Dollar, one slice cold pizza for lunch with cheetos. And granted, I'm not finished because I am getting the ingredients to make some oatmeal raisin cookies tonight (we are supposed to get snow tonight).
I don't know why I am doing this. Why am I turning to food? What is triggering me, or am I looking for something to trigger me?
I think I have mentioned before that my grandmother lives with us. She has dementia. It is so straining on me right now and I hide myself in my room for the most part. Away from everyone. Anything my kids do gets on my nerves. I am thinking it is time for me to get back on my anti-depressants. I haven't seen my doctor for at least 3 years or longer. I made an appointment for an annual check-up and anything else she wants to check. I may even see what she can do about my carpal tunnel. I am nearly in tears right now. I want to be by myself, but I don't want to be alone. Does that even make sense?
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I desperately need it.
2 comments:
Well I think going to the doctor is a good place to start.. perhaps that will help take the edge off and help you get refocused on getting healthy and eating healthy... best of luck!
Awww, Kendra... I am SO sorry that you are feeling like this! It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff right now... and that's bound to be a strain on anybody. No wonder you feel the way you do! I hope you realize that it's OK and perfectly normal to feel that way!
We've all turned to food in times of stress. So don't beat yourself up about that. It's a step in the right direction that you asked yourself "why" you did it. You are thinking about your actions instead of just DOING them.
Slow down. Take a break. Be kind to yourself. You do NOT have to be perfect. You do not have to be Super Girl! Deal with your emotions... and think of ways to handle the stress.
Take a walk by yourself, go for a drive, light some candles and take a long bubble bath. Buy yourself some flowers. You are worth it... and you deserve it!
And above all... you deserve to be healthy and fit! You deserve to eat properly and take care of yourself! You already know this... but turning to food is not going to help. It's just going to make you feel worse. I know... because I've lived through that for years.
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there, girl. I'll be thinking of you and sending best wishes your way! :)
(((((Kendra)))))
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